Raising Children – My Culture or my Faith?

What is culture and to what extent can it affect raising children?

It is very common nowadays to find people doing things cultural while thinking they are religious and vice versa. Why do people confuse between culture and religion?

Dear scholar. Assalamu 'alaikum I find it quite hard sometimes with raising my children and practicing Islam but Alhamdulillah with Allah's gift it seems everyday I'm overcoming this time rift. I have a busy schedule in my home life that when I pray all my stress is relieved with Allah's will. My faith is stronger by the day. May Allah bless you.

You have picked the topic I would love to ask about. There is huge difference between culture and faith and people don't realize this quite often. When it comes to raising kids, especially in North America, the issue of culture can affect parent negatively. Can you please share some of the negative consequences that can result from this; point form would be useful.

My mothers and I always fight over issues of dress. She insists that I always dress in the Pakistani style which I always hate. I try to resolve differences saying as long as I am covering what should be covered according to Islam I am Ok, but my mom always takes it personally. How can I solve this problem in a way that does not affect my relationship with my mom?

My kids, the same way other kids in these western societies, tend to reason and question everything. Even when I am talking religiously they think I am talking culturally. Last night we almost had a fight in the issue of boys wearing necklaces and bracelets. I told them, as it says there in many fatwas on Islamonline, that boys are not allowed to wear necklaces or bracelets because such ornaments are designed for women. The straight answer that they always have, "it is silver, and men are allowed to wear silver." And they ask for the straight daleel for the prohibition. When you tell them that evidence does not have to be specifically mentioned in the Qur'an, they come back to you saying "then it is cultural….." Do I find it difficult to deal with my kids or is it a general issue?

What do you say to parents that think yelling and shouting is the key to control their children? Whem should we yell and when should we not? What are the bad consequences of yelling?

How can I convince my daughter that the mother's main role is to take care of children and her husband and if her work affects her responsibilities then she might think of leaving her job. She takes this as a great offense. She keeps saying, "my children are my husband's children too, and if we have cooperation these types of problems would not arise?

Salaam. My child is 10 years already and still does not want to pray Salah. I have invited him in peace and taught him everything but he still does not want to pray his Salah. Should I hit him?

I'm a Christian and want to eagerly become a Muslim. I've been thinking of this for a long time and now made up my mind. Do I have to do this in the mosque? I'm in London & new here…

Assalamu 'alikum. We live in West but my husband believes only mother can teach her children both faith and culture. What do you think? In here my children go to Islamic school where they learn more Islamic faith and some Islamic culture. My children are losing their original culture because we want them to learn Arabic more than any other language. How could we teach 7-years old three different languages? Thanks.

As Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah. May Allah reward you all for your time and efforts. What an important topic, masha'Allah! This topic is of particular interest to me due to the fact that I am half Arab, raised in the U.S., and my husband was raised in an Arab country with a strong tribal mentality within his family. As you can guess, my perception of Islam has a lot less cultural baggage than his, and in fact, adhering to cultural norms is more important to him than to follow the deen. This affects the upbringing of children, for example, when it comes time to marrying our daughters, or how my son will interact with this wife and children. I have tried to discuss these issues with my husband, stressing to him that being raised here in the states requires different parenting tactics, and that the culture of the place that he was raised is not always applicable here, but to no avail. What to do? Do you have any advice on how to discuss these important matters without the conversation turning into an argument? How might I discuss these issues with my children? Thank you and may Allah reward you the best rewarding.

I would like to first thank Islamonline for choosing this important topic that everybody is need of it. My question is about Arabic language. I don't think learning Arabic is a cultural issue; it is a very religious principles. What makes me sad is I know some people in my community, even some sheikhs wallahi, who insist that their children speak to them in their language (Lebanese, Egyptian, etc.) while they don't care if their children understand the Qur'an. What is your advice to those families?

Asalamu alikum, i wanted to know if prophet Muhammed(P.B.U.H) ever asked a syed to not marry a pathan? as many people have said that to me and i cannot imagine prophet Muhammed (P.B.U.H) to ever discriminate between any of them(pathan,syed,sheik etc.) and my father insists on marrying me only to a syed (as i am a syed) whereas i would like him to prefer an islamically active person, but he says that prophet Muhammed (P.B.U.H) asked us to look for matches within us. Can you please guide me as these things are really confusing me.