Name
muslim –

Question

Dear dr. Sadiq, I have a problem and I really want you to look at it from a realistic view. I am a 20- year old man and getting so many problems to delay my marriage, mainly financial problems. I tried every possible means to give up masturbation, but in vain. I am around a very difficult situation and so many haram things are grabbing me away from the halal into the haram. Please tell me how to solve my problem.

Answer
Dear brother, I am saddened to hear your struggles over a period of time. The problem you’re facing is not uncommon. A great number of young people face this problem around the world.

Now I can give you a solution which will be perfectly acceptable in the non-Muslim societies and it will work too, or I can tell you a solution that will work even better and will be Islamic and bring you rewards from Allah (SWT).

1. As you know masturbation is perfectly acceptable in non-Muslim societies and is practiced by large number of people: young, single, old, and married. However, it is not acceptable in Islam. So, if you just want to satisfy your sexual urges in present then continue on with masturbating. But if you care about your faith and worry about your hereafter and the pleasure of Allah (SWT), then here is the solution that the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has provided to us for this problem. And that is to fast and pray to Allah (SWT) for help.
2. Once you follow the advice of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and turn to Allah SWT you will see how He blesses you with strength, self-control, patience, and lots of rewards in this world and the world Hereafter.
3. Remember, a time is set for everything to occur by Allah SWT; Nothing happens before that and when the time has come, nothing can stop it from happening.

Think about what I said and make your choice wisely. May Allah be with you.

Name
seeren – Armenia

Question

As-Salamu Alaykum,

I would like to know how to deal with my oldest son due to the fact that he has started to make trouble at school, when I say trouble I mean that he was in his first fight to prove to the new kids(he is in a new school) that he is “worthy” as he puts it and none should fear the bully he fought with. I would like to know if this is a normal course of growing up as a male or she I be cautious? Thank u so much.
Answer What you’re going through, dear sister, with your son is not uncommon. New kids at school always have to do things to fit in their place. Some do it by fighting and showing how tough they are; some do it by bribing others; some do it by submitting themselves to the bullies and become part of gangs, etc.

How a child is going to go about it depends on his self-esteem, his sense of security, and the support system around him.

If you and your husband provide him with the sense of security, love, support, and confidence in himself, he is likely to make good choices in school and outside the school to be accepted by others. If he feels good about himself, he would have no need to fight or otherwise behave badly to get attention and to prove himself.

Lastly, anger and anger management is often a problem among men of our community. If his parents deal with situations with anger and by lasing out, that is what the children would learn. On the other hand, if parents have learned to control and express their anger constructively, kids learn how to manage their anger.

I hope I have given you some food for thought.

Name
Shihab –

Question

Is it acceptable to give gifts to my Muslim female colleagues as a sign of respect and friendship?

Answer
This has nothing to do with cyber counselor. Please submit your Question in Tomorrow’s session with Sheikh Ahmad Kutty.

Name
too shy to mention my name –

Question

Dear dr. Sadiq, I have a problem and I really want you I am a Muslim lady who graduated last year. I got married to a young man who is not older than me very much. I love my husband very much but the problem is that he likes me to say sexual words to him at the time of sex but I am too shy to do so, how can I please my husbandto look at it from a realistic view.

Answer
Men, who have exposed to pornography, often do that. They expect their wives to behave and say things that they have seen women do in the pictures and porno movies. Please understand I am not saying that your husband was in porno, what I am saying is that these types of things are expected from people who have exposed themselves to pornographic material.

Now then to the solutions: Islamic shari’ah does not regulate sexual activity between a husband and a wife with certain exceptions, for example, anal sex, sex during menstruation, etc. Dirty talk between husband and wife during sex in order to facilitate sexual arousal is permissible; so, if you oblige him by saying the words he wants you to say, this will pave way for you to to gain his favors. Then gradually change those words to positive expressions of love and care. Hopefully once he feels your genuine love and care, he may not depend as much on dirty words for sexual arousal.

Hope this helps!!

Name
Sameera –

Question

I got acquainted with a young man but did not meet him. I really fell in love with him and he also did love me! I said to him that no way but marriage! Now! I am married to another person but still I love him! Ii do not see him and never know anything about him, just love him! am I sinful? Do I betray my husband!

Answer
Dear sister, it is too bad that you couldn’t marry someone you loved and cared for. But I understand and I am sure you understand that all things are not in our hands and control. I also believe that whatever finally happens to us was what was meant to be. So, if we accept and be patient and thankful with our destiny, we receive the rewards and the pleasure of Allah SWT.

Having said that, the Answer to your Question is as follows: emotions and thoughts are not in a person’s control. However, acting on those thoughts and emotions is under our control. As long as you intentionally do not keep yourself preoccupied with this other man and when the emotions and thoughts about him occur, without your intention, recite Istighfar (seeking forgiveness from Allah), and ask for His help to give you strength, you will stay away from sin and transgression. As well, this will assist in strengthening your relationship with your present husband who does deserve to be loved by you also.

Hope this helps!!

Name
Shakir –

Question

What do you say about Muslim youth chatting with one another through the Internet just for spreading Islam. But this may lead to love affairs?

Answer
Chatting through the Internet, or in-person, or over-the-phone chatting with strangers that may lead to false pretence, misunderstanding, and haram thoughts and relationships, is not permissible.

In my humble opinion, young men and women should not indulge into Internet chatting for a number of reasons::

1-You don’t know the person who you’re chatting with, his intent, his plans, or any other thing about him except what he/or she chooses to tell you. Look in the media and you will literally find thousands of examples of how young men and women have been cheated, deceived, and abused through Internet.

2-People who fall in love on Internet often live in a fantasy world. It only leads to disappointments, hurts, and depression when the story is over.

3-The entire purpose of Islamic Shari`ah is to protect human beings from falling prey to the Satan who finds most creative ways to lead the servants of Allah SWT astray. Often he begins with presenting his ideas as if following his idea would be following the command of Allah SWT, for example to make Da`wah. Once he gets you to do something that you’re prohibited to do in the first place, like talking to stranger men and women in private, it becomes easy for him to lead you astray. That is why the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, has taught us that when a strange man and woman meet in privacy, the third one is the Satan. Often this Internet chatting is in private; therefore, Satan is always waiting for you to trap you and lead you astray.

The wise ones always stay within the limits of Islamic Shari`ah to protect themselves. This indicates that a lady, even when she is talking to a stranger due to a need, should not talk to him in a soft kind voice that may give him hope with her. She is supposed to be short, definite and strict in her voice to prevent all false ideas and thoughts occurring in the conversation.

Hope this helps

Name
saly –

Question

Hi, I’m a 19 year old girl. It has been a year since I graduated from an American High School. In the past year, I’ve gone through so many things. I was far away from Islam and was influenced greatly by the American culture. I wanted to leave my country and attend university, but God did not will. All my friends have gone. I felt so isolated and alone. Until recently I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I started gaining faith in Allah again. I need guidance from someone to help me through this

Answer
First of all, I admire your strength and your understanding and commitment to your faith. From your Question, it is clear to me that you have chosen the right path, and you have put your faith in Allah SWT Who NEVER disappoints His servants.

Now the only thing that is required further is PATIENCE. Remember, if you do believe that everything that happens is from Allah SWT and for a purpose, then it is also time to be grateful to Him for His decisions for you and know in the depth of your heart that it will be indeed for your own good in the final run.

Hope this helps.!!

Name
Selim –

Question

Dear scholar, in the light of the title of this dialogue, there are many problems facing Muslim youth, part of which is identity. How do you think Muslim youth nowadays can preserve their identity, in the face of all forms of corruption surrounding him?

Answer
Very good Question, my dear brother; and very easy Answer.

Identity of a person emerges from what he or she understands his life and the purpose of his life to be. It is also assisted by the ideals and idols one chooses to follow.

Now then, in light of the above, an Islamic identity would emerge from learning what Allah SWT has intended the purpose of a life to be, and by choosing the right ideals to follow in our daily life. If we want to follow the ideas and ideals of non-Muslim cultures and societies in our daily life, we cannot begin to develop an Islamic identity.

Name
too shy to mention my name –

Question

Dear dr. Sadiq, I have a problem and I really want you I am a Muslim lady who graduated last year. I got married to a young man who is not older than me very much. I love my husband very much but the problem is that he likes me to say sexual words to him at the time of sex but I am too shy to so, how can I please my husbandto look at it from a realistic view. I am a 20- year old man and getting so many problems to delay my marriage, mainly financial problems. I tried every possible means to give up masturbation, but in vain. I am around a very difficult situation and so many haram things are grabbing me away from the halal into the haram. Please tell me how to solve my problem.

Answer
Your Question has been Answered.

Name
Aamina –

Question

Now, I’m sevently four years old. I embraced Islam one and half years back. Alhamdulillah, I performed Haj last year. I’m sorry to say that I have little weak points such as watching TV. not listening to my son-inlaw at times. But I know that he loves me and I too love him. Please advise on the above issues.

Answer
It is wonderful to hear about your accepting Islam and performing the Hajj. It is also quite wonderful to see how sensitive you have become to your transgression. Old habits die hard. As long as a person recognizes an admits his or her bad habits, makes an attempt to cut them down and prays to Allah SWT for help and strength, sooner or later, depending on your sincerity, you will be insha’Allah rid off your old habits or watching TV and other transgressions. May Allah give you strong faith, strength, and all the help you need to become His true servant in body and soul.

Name
Yassin –

Question
Salam.

How can we protect our children from a corrupted society?
keeping them our from un-Islamic ideologies and practices.

Thanks

Answer
Wa alaikum salaam, brother Yasin:

The best way to go about it is to teach them Islam, its practices, conducts and requirements when they are very young and be a model to them of how it must be practiced.

Once they know what is right, expected, and desirable, they will at least know when they see the wrongs and the corruptions of the society.

Hope this helps.

Name
HUSSAIN – Sri Lanka
ACCOUNTANT
Question I have never heard of an era where humanity lived in peace. Since the incident between Abiel and Khabeel, history points to turmoil after turmoil. In this regard, where could we really find solace? I am very positive and 100% confident that only complete adherence to the tenets of Islam and complete faith in Allah, that He is the Only, I repeat the One & Only SUPREME LORD is the only solution. As a learned Ulama, what is the solution for the present predicament of the Muslims and the so-called Muslim World?
Answer Brother Hussain: Assalamu alaikum,

You have given the Answer to your own Question, Alhamdu lillah. That indeed is the very first and primary step to our problems these days.

Name
Vinay –

Question Why are Muslim youth in particular not able to integerate themselves in the non- Muslim societies? Why are they more often than not considered a liability rather than an asset?

Answer Brother Vinay: Assalamu alaikum,

The main reasons are:
1) A lack of self identity. They have not formed a clear identity of who they really are and want to be.
2) No or unclear understanding of the principles and requirements of Islam.
3) No role model
4) No skills to deal with people of other beliefs and ideologies.
5) Fear of other cultures
6) No support from our leaders in the community

Those are some reasons.

Name
Br. Mahbub –

Question
As Salamu Alaikum,

My Question is regarding interaction between us and the non-believers. To what extent should we associate ourselves with them? For eg. going to a different lunch or something… What do you think would be some appropriate topic of discussion besides religion? I guess it gets boring sometimes for people if they talk about religion all the time.
Jazak ALLAH khairan.

Answer

Br. Mahbub: Wa alaikum salaam,

We should not be hesitant to associate with people of other faiths at all, especially if we live in their culture.
When we do associate with them, we should not bring up religion as a topic of discussion ourselves. Lots of brothers make the mistake of thinking that they we must do the work of da’wah all the time when we are with non-Muslims. Others feel defensive about the way their beliefs and practices. For example, there is nothing forbidding us to go to a lunch or dinner with a non-Muslim fellow worker, but at the same time, we should not be defensive about what we can eat and drink and we can’t. We should not be defensive in stating our beliefs that, for example, “I cannot be eating in a place where liquor is being served, it’s against my belief system.”

Hope this helps.

Name
Sis B – United States
University
Question

Assalamu Alaikum,

I often feel “split in two” when it comes to my identity. It is mostly regarding hijab. I wear full hijab to school, but at home in my neighborhood I don’t wear it when mowing the lawn, nor do I wear it when I run errands or exercise.

I am a convert, and I feel that all the different Muslim ethnicities want to pull me towards them (Indian, Pakistani, Arab, Etc). I feel as though I’ve lost MYSELF sometimes, like I’m no longer authentic. Inshallah I would appreciate your suggestions. Jazakullah.

Answer

Dear Sis B: Wa alaikum salaam,

Your feelings of “split in two” is unfortunately very common among Muslim youth. When you follow a practice of Islam for any other reason except to obey and please Allah, these types of split personalities and behavior develop.

And yes, there are as many interpretations of the requirements of Islamic law today as there are these so called “scholars”, especially on the internet. So, the Answer is to seek and learn about Islam yourself from the scholars that you know and feel comfortable with. Pray to Allah (swt) to guide you to His straight path and believe that He will, if you are sincere.

Last but not least, practice Islam fully and consistently with the intent of obeying and submitting yourself to Allah and for no one else.
Hope this helps, Insha-Allah.

Name
Muslimah – United States

Question

Salaam,

What do you suggest we do for future generations in the West?

Unfortunately, I feel I have no one to turn to because most of the “elders” are immigrants who haven’t grasped a lot of the social concepts and issues that young people (like me) face in America.

Inshallah my generation will hopefully change things for the better when it comes to identity issues because we have a better understanding of things.

Answer

Dear Sister: wa alaikum salaam,

Two things come to mind after reading your Question.

1) The immigrant elders: Indeed they are often not in touch with the needs of the youth growing up in non-Muslim cultures, and even in their own cultures sometimes. Often they fear that their children would be led astray in the non-Muslim cultures. Their fears are genuine. But they cannot alley their fears nor guide their children because they themselves often are not knowledgeable about the true requirements, freedoms,and limits of Islam.

2) Identity issue: For Muslim youth, the identity issue can only be resolved once they have truly understood who they are, what are the requirements of being who they are, and choose to accept them. A reliable and correct knowledge of the Deen is imperative before these Questions may be Answered by each youth.

Hope this helps.

Name
Saara – United States

Question
Assalamu Alaikum,

A lot of Muslims seem to think that being “American” or “British” and Muslim is a paradox. How can we change this mentality?

Sometimes I feel as though I need to prove to “born” Muslims that I am Muslim! How do we bridge the gap of this misunderstanding?

Answer

Sister Saara: Wa alaikum salaam,

Your Question also relates to the identity crisis that our Muslim youth are suffering from these days. I believe that your core identity must come first for a healthy self identity. Are you an American or British first or a Muslim first? If you are a Muslim first then the second part really does not matter.

Because, in principle then you are one with all the others who are Muslims regardless of where they were born, or live.

Hope this helps.

Name
zouhair – Morocco
cashier
Question

I have a Question.
I know a girl from the US and she been in Islam for 2 years. She was living in Morocco but when she came here, after 2 months she changed. She knows a lot about islam but i dont know why she changed?

i talk to her and she says to me that this is her life. Please tell me what I can tell her to put her back in Islam. incharalah wa jazakom Allah.

Answer

Brother Zouhair: Assalamu Alaikum,

What a person becomes when he/she has not developed a self-identity, depends a lot upon the company and environment he/she chooses to keep himself/herself in.

Encourage her to explore for herself, “what is her life all about?” If she has the knowledge of Islam and if she had chosen to be a Muslim as a result of her conviction about the truth of Islam, then Insha-Allah she would re-think her lifestyle.

On the other hand, if her coming to Islam was for reasons other then Islam itself, it would be difficult for her to live by its principles. Hope this helps.

Name
du’a – Egypt

Question

Sometimes in my career I have problems because i wear hijab. How should I approach this problem?

Answer Dear du’a: Assalamu alaikum,

One always faces challenges when one chooses to live by what he/she believes. Allah (swt) tests our beliefs by such challenges. If you wear Hijab only and only for the pleasure of Allah (swt), then the problems would be easier to handle.

People suffer a lot and bear the sufferings happily for the pleasure of their loved ones on this earth. It would be, therefore, much easier to bear these difficulties for the love of Allah.

Secondly, don’t be shy to explain your beliefs when they are Questioned and made fun of. Stay firm and unshaken with the knowledge that “you are right”.

May Allah give you the strength and courage to go on practicing what you believe is right, and May He accept your efforts.

Was-salaam,

Name
aziza – Egypt
teacher
Question

What are the steps a Muslim can take to strengthen their identity and not be influenced by pressures around them?

Answer

Sister Aziza: Wa alaikum salaam,

As I have mentioned previously, the key steps in the formation of a healthy self identity is understanding who we are, what we believe and why, what are the requirements of our belief system, and choosing to accept them.

Then, healthy role models around us give us strength and courage to be who we are without fear and intimidation. The pressures around us are easier to handle if we have a self identity that we are comfortable with, when we know the right from the wrong.
Hope this helps.

Name
Kristina – United States

Question

I am a Catholic with a desire to learn more about the Muslims. I want to understand how the Qur’an came about and read all of it.

I have seen DVDs about Islam, which helped me to see that we are all God’s people. Since I have come to know some Muslims and watched their work ethics and modesty in dress and high respect for their spouses, I cannot but help want to be more like them! Allah is just wanting us to know Him, and not have anything to distract from Him. I know in the Christian faith, Jesus is our Way to God…as the Sacrificial Lamb. Because I know little, but want to learn so much more, I have grown to LOVE the Muslims with an understanding of how they RESPECT so much more than we do in America.

They do not like the war going on. I don’t either. Because I have hungered for wanting to understand something that I used to just “stereo type” as foreigners, and such, it was as a result of watching and knowing the Muslims for a long while, to say…”There is something special about them.”

They are so much closer to Allah in their daily greetings. Sometimes I feel that we, as Christians, put God to shame, for not having such respect daily when we greet each other. There is so much to learn for non-Muslims to see what they are missing! The Muslims are beautiful people, and I, at times, feel the need to “cover” myself out of respect to my loved one…and be only for him. The covering of the heads and arms, and legs are positive things that are precious to family only. We in America have become “flesh” idols, and this is so wrong. May God/Allah have patience with us…as we all strive to be closer to Him.
Peace Be Unto You.

Kristina
Answer

Dear Kristina: Peace Be Upon you too.

I was pleased to hear from you. Islam is a moderate and just faith that teaches us rights and responsbilities of ourselves, our families, our neighbors, our societies, our contries, and even the animals and our environment. It provides practical guidance, totally based on our nature and the nature of other things around us, to conduct ourselves in our daily lives.

We get ourselves into trouble only when we turn our backs to this beautiful guidance provided to us by the Creator Himself. All the turmoil you see in the Muslim world today is mainly due to this.

I wish you Peace and on-going efforts to seek out the truth and follow it. May Allah be with you and guide you to the right path.

There are some weekly lessons on Human Nature on my website www.shifa.ca. Check them out, you may enjoy them.

Good Luck.

Name
Waheed – United Kingdom

Question

I love islam, even though I’m not always the best one to practice it. But I find myself outraged and angry at the Iraq war.

Looking through history I see a endless list of actions and crimes committed by nations such as the UK or France or the USA.

How can Muslims possibly look upon these nations with any sense of patriotism. I was born and bred in the UK and I love my home, but i am coming ot the point where issues such as the Iraq war, Abu Gharaib, Palestine, and Checniya is making me frustrated to the point where in my weakest form i feel respect for Al-qaeda and their fight against America.

I know I am not alone. Every Muslim youth I meet has similar frustrations of anger and a feeling of impotency because we can’t do anything..

What do you suggest Muslim youth like me should do before the frustrations of loyal young Muslism spill over and hurt the Muslim community in the West, by committing actions against their governments.

Answer

Dear brother Waheed: Assalamu Alaikum,

Thank you for such an important Question. Indeed, what has been going on in the Muslim world today is very disturbing, confusing, frustrating, and demoralizing for all Muslims and especially the Muslim Youth.

Indeed, you are so right in saying that one feels so impotent to do anything about what has been going on around us.

But, I want you think about something. Allah (swt) would only hold us accountable for our own deeds, no one else’s. We, the Muslims, worry about everything bad that is going on around us and feel helpless to do anything about it. But, seldom do we turn inwards to look at our own selves to notice “what’s wrong with me”, “how good a Muslim am I”, “how much knowledge of Islam do I have”, “what of this knowledge I consistently practice”, what are my weaknesses”, and “what can I do to improve upon myself?”

In these times, brother Waheed, the best thing to do is worry less about what is happening around us, and worry more about how to make myself a better Muslim by learning more and more about Islam from the right sources, and practicing what you learn with sincerity. If each one of us did the same, we will be a better community, we will become once again a stronger nation, and Allah’s help will once again be with us, Insha-Allah.

Hope this helps.

Name
ahmed – Nigeria
civil servant
Question

Assalamu alaikum Dr,

With the way the Western world looks at Muslims who follow the sunna to the core as fundametalist, how will one find it easy in the white people’s countries?

Answer

Dear Brother Ahmed: wa alaikum salaam,

I have been living in the “white people’s countries” for the last 35 years. And, Alhamdu-lillah, have always tried to practice my faith the best I can with sincerity and an absolute intent to seek the pleasure of Allah. And Wallah, none of the white folks have ever had a problem with me or my practices.

It is not our faith practices that create problems for us in the non-Muslim world, but our poor un-Islamic character that causes us grief; and sometimes our poor understanding of what we practice and the resultant inability to explain it those who may not understand it.

Hope this Answers your Question.

Name
saffiyah – United Kingdom

Question

How can I make myself feel strong when I feel weak?

Answer

Dear Sis Saffiyah: Assalamu alaikum,

What you need to explore a bit more is what makes you feel weak. Without this understanding, you cannot begin to feel strong.

Since you haven’t told me enough about why you feel weak, I am at a loss to help you further with this Question.

If you like some more help, go to my website, www.shifa.ca, and look under the ‘counseling’ page.

Hope it would help.

Name
khadija –

Question

How can we as Muslim youth deal with people who make fun of us and push us around just because we’re trying to practice Islam?

Answer

Dear Sister Khadija: Assalamu Alaikum,

If you practice your faith with true conviction, Allah (swt) will place your fear and awe in the hearts of others and they would respect you or stay away from you.

On the other hand, if you practice your faith half-heartedly, with poor understanding and uncertainty, and with fear of others, you would be more easily bothered, pushed around, and made fun of by others.

In all communities, there should be on-going efforts, such as seminars and workshops, etc., to help our youth learn the true knowledge of Islam, understand the requirements of Shari’ah and the reasons thereof, and to guide them about how to deal with outside pressures.

If you are interested, look at my website www.shifa.ca under “seminars and workshops” for more ideas.

Hope this helps.

Name
umm safeeyah – United Kingdom
social worker
Question

How can the youth stand up for their rights and be counted without being aggressive and getting into physcial fights?

Answer
Dear Sis Umm Safeeyah: Assalamu Alaikum,

Jazak-Allah, for such a good Question.

The key elements in standing up for your rights without being aggressive are:

1) Correct knowledge of Islam
2) Good Islamic Character
3) Understanding your rights, responsibilities, and obligations in Islam.
4) Giving the rights of others to them without demanding you get yours first
5) Love and genuine care of all creatures of Allah (swt)
6) Self confidence and strong convictions
7) Good communication and conflict resolution skills.

Some of the above can be taught and learned through training and guidance. Look at some of the workshops listed on my website: www.shifa.ca

Hope this helps.

Name
sitwat – Pakistan
microbiologist
Question

Dear Sir,
I’m a girl belong to ehl-e sunnat wants to marry a guy who is from fiqha jafria. I know very well that the decision is not very easy but it is not very hard too because i think that we must follow Allah and act according to the teaching of Qur’an & Hadis and this is not from Allah that He made us Sunni or Shia or whatever this is our beliefs and thinking and if i found anything good then it is my duty to tell the others or if i found that if someone belongs to my religion and not properly acting accordingly or something else then it is also my duty to tell them the truth.

So this is one of the reasons which compelled me to take a positive decision means to marry him but I also want to take some one wise advise. Please help me.

Answer

Dear Sister Sitwat:

Common beliefs are of utmost importance in making a relationship work. If there are significant differences in the beliefs and practices, it would ultimately cause grief and unpleasantness somewhere along the line.

I would strongly advise you to consult with some scholars where you live, to learn more about the fiqh jafaria and understand the differences. Then, think carefully, “could you live with these differences?” “would you like your children to grow up confused between what you believe and what your husband believes and practices?”

This decision would have a long term impact on not only on your life now, but on the lives of your children for a long time to come.

I believe I have given you the principle by which to make your decision. I sincerely hope that it helps, and pray that Allah (swt) guides you to a proper decision.

Was-salaam

Name
sisa – Australia

Question

It’s quite hard to be in the Muslim community in Western countries because everyone lives so far apart. It’s like a major event whenever we come together so often I (and others like me) feel isolated. How do you suggest we deal with such feelings?

Answer

Dear Sisa: Assalamu alaikum,

I understand how you might feel isolated under such circumstances. The Answer to this issue is not very difficult if the community members put their heads together to plan and implement social and family events for all in the community, and especially the youth. Unfortunately, everyone gets busy and preoccupied with their own lives, work, business, school, etc.

You, along with your friends, may want to take an initiative to get some community activities going regularly and approach the elders for the support and guidance. Insha-Allah, it would work out.

Hope this helps.

Name
Mansoor – India

Question

Muslim youth now have an identity crisis due to social and political reasons. What are your suggestions to overcome this problem?

Answer

Dear Brother Mansoor, Assalamu Alaikum,

I have Answered this Questions a couple of times already. Please review my Answers to some of the previous Questions in this regard.

Was-salaam

Name
Fareh –

Question

What are the main reasons that would cause someone to loose identity?

Answer

Dear Fareh: Assalamu Alaikum,

One does not loose his/her identity if it was solidly built in the first place on proper understanding of who you are, what you believe and why, and learning how to practice what you believe. If it was on shaky grounds to start with, it would more easily be lost or changed.

So, the Answer is to go back and evaluate what your identity is built on.

Hope this helps.

Name
UmmNadiya – Canada

Question

Most Muslim youth in North America are after fashion, cool attitude, and un-Islamic behaviour, while da’wah workers are not yet targeting the youth in the best manner that one is expecting. When and how can we have al youth work with lots of resourses and equipment so as to contain our youth in a safe, Islamic environment?

Answer

Dear Sister Umm Nadiya: Assalamu Alaikum,

You are so right in saying that lots of Muslim Youth in North America are buying into the local values of being fashionable and cool. Sometimes they are so “cool” that it runs chills through my spine (no pun intended).

The major reason for this problem is a lack of proper Islamic knowledge, good role models, and proper guidance for them.

Youth, in my experience, are looking for guidance and role models, but the community elders are often ignoring these needs. If proper education, skills training, and guidance were provided, along with healthy alternatives to meet their recreational and social needs, these problems would Insha-Allah, go away.

Look at my website www.shifa.ca under seminars and workshops for more ideas.

Hope this helps.

Name
Mohammad Jamshid – Pakistan

Question

Assalam O Alaikum.
I told my wife that you are divorced, you are divorced and you are divorced if you spent more than 5 days in your parents home. Even if I allow you to stay for more than 5 days, you will not spend more than 5 days.

As far as my condition is concerned I just wanted to intimidate her but I thought at that time of anger that if even after this warning she spends more than five days then I should better divorce her.

Now there is her brother’s wedding and she needs to stay at least for ten days there. And i told her to stay there for 10 days on my own wish. She is also two months pregnant. So please tell me the Islamic ruling in this case regarding my declaration of divorce. Will it be regarded as completed now…or we are allowed to take back such a conditional divorce and lead a happy and pure life
May Allah bless you.

Answer

Dear Brother Jamshid: Wa alaikum salaam,

Your Question unfortunately does not pertain in this forum. You should raise this Question in the Fatwa forum.

I pray for you.

Name
Raed – United States

Question

How can I maintain my sprituality in a society that only cares about money, movies, songs, etc?

I am finding it extremly difficult to keep my faith strong around my friends. Should I quit to another Muslim country?

The problem is that a lot of my friends in Egypt and Lebanon say that it is no longer different and that most Muslim countries are becoming Westernized?

Answer

Dear brother Raed: Assalamu Alaikum,

Please read some of my Answers from other Questions, and you will learn the principles of how to deal with your problems.

Since there is not enough time left, I don’t wish to repeat myself. If you need to ask me a specific Question later, contact me through my website www.shifa.ca

Name
muhammad – Malaysia
just graduated…
Question

Assalam aleikum,

The Question I want to ask may not be a Question about today’s topic, but i would like to know your opinion on this.

I recently applied for a job as a diplomat and administration officer with the Malaysian government. Quite some time ago, a prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Imran hosein was on a dawah tour in Malaysia. He said that a government that makes halal what’s haram and makes haram what’s halal has committed shirk because that government has replaced Allah’s rule and claimed to be the sovereign law.

The way i see it, the Malaysian government is not a Muslim government even if it claims to be so. So my Question is, would I be committing shirk if I work for this government even if my intention is for the experience that I would gain from it?

And things are more complicated because I support the opposition party. How do you perceive me to be? a hypocrite? thank you. Assalam aleikum.

Answer

Brother Muhammad: Wa alaikum salaam,

Sorry, but I choose not to go into your Question in this forum. It would take up too much time. You may write to me later and I may try to Answer it. drsadiq@shifa.ca

Name
syed –
doctor
Question

As salamu alaykum,
In a society full of things which make youth go astray, what can be done?

Answer

Dear Brother Syed: Wa alaikum salaam.

Look at my previous Answer.

Name
Ahmed khan –

Question

Can you suggest some tips on how to make coming to the masjid interesting for the youth. I am trying to invite my friends to the Friday halaqa where we meet in the masjid and have an open discussion with our imam, and translation is available. When I tell my friends about the halaqa, they always tell me: “It is not cool,” “You guys need to spice it up a little bit,” etc.

Answer

Dear brother Ahmad: Assalamu Alaikum,

The youth of today want to be entertained even in the masaajid and in halaqahs. This is one of the consequences of living in cultures which encourage, require and thrive on fun.

My suggestion, therefore, is to initially hold the youth programs somewhere else but the masjid, and incorporate some sports and other activities along with learning activities. Also, the presenter, the teacher, and the way of teaching also makes a great difference in attracting youth to these programs. Look at my website www.shifa.ca under seminars and workshops for more ideas.

Name
radia – France
sans
Question

Salam,je voudrais d’abord vous dire que je trouve ce site très reussi!!!ma fille vit avec un garçon elle a eu un enfant avec lui et elle n’a pas fait l’acte de mariage arabe elle a juste fait deux fatha avec talba et je voudrais savoir si c’est hallal ou haram

Answer

Sorry, Sis Radia

I don’t read french. You may want to send you Question to me later in English at drsadiq@shifa.ca

Name
huda zaheer – Pakistan

Question

In a non-Muslim society who may be our friends?

Answer

Dear Brother Huda: Assalamu Alaikum,

In a Muslim or non-Muslim society we can be casually friends with everyone, being nice to them and engaging in permissible activities with them. But, close friendships should be formed only with those who share your belief system and would not lead you astray.

Hope this helps.