Name
ihsan –

Question 

Can you please define what you mean by psychological benefits? And how does fasting achieve these benefits?

Answer 

Everything we experience in life has an effect on our thinking, emotions, and ultimately our behaviour. Similarly, the act of fasting has significant effects on our thinking, emotions, and behaviour. This is what is meant by the psychological effects of fasting.

Going hungry, thirsty, and indulging into other rituals of fasting such as taraweeh, waking up for suhur, and iftar (breaking the fast) – all these acts affect how we think, behave, and feel. For example, just the routine of it all brings a certain discipline in our life that lots of us may not have had before.

Name
farah –

Question 

How can we solve family problems around the table of iftar?

Answer 

Often unlike regular days families try to break their fast and eat their meal together in the holy month of Ramadan. This in itself provides an opportunity for the family to be together at a happy occasion of breaking their fast for a whole month.

Also, because everybody is hungry and thirsty there is less preoccupations with other problems at that time, and as well negative emotions such as anger, hurt, etc. are under control. All of this provides an opportunity for the family members to build and strengthen their relationships.

Name
shauqi –

Question 

If you really believe fasting can solve psychological problems, how can someone who feels disappointed and has a lot of complications take fasting as a solution?

Answer 

The holy month of Ramadan and fasting in this month has a potential to be helpful in resolving many psychological problems. But, if the problems are long lasting and complicated, a person may need additional help. Seeking such help in this holy month often proves more beneficial than in other months, that is, if the client and the therapist both practice the adaab (ethics) of fasting.

If you had mentioned a specific problem, I may have given specific way of dealing with that problem during this month.

Name
Aseel –

Question 

Dr. Sadiq I am a very nervous person with high blood pressure, and I can easily get mad even when I am fasting. I sometimes find myself fighting over little things and then regret after I discover their being so trivial. What is your advice to me in Ramadan?

Answer 

Dear sister,

If part of your anger problem emerges from high blood pressure, then it should be treated medically so that at least the high blood pressure is ruled out from the picture.

Now then, you said that you get angry on trivial things even in the month of Ramadan. Do you notice any decrease in losing your temper while you’re fasting? (I assume you’re fasting everyday.)

Generally, a person with a full stomach is more prone to anger outbursts, so while one is fasting, there generally isn’t the same amount of physical energy to get angry or to be angry with high intensity.

The purpose of fasting that Allah Almighty has mentioned in the Holy Qur’an is “so that you would become restrained.” Other translations for the word “restrained” are: god-fearing, mindful of your deeds, recognizing your accountability before Allah Almighty for all your deeds.

Keep the above in mind and often recite verse no. 183 in Surat Al-Baqarah, pondering on its meaning; and self-reflect while you’re fasting if you’re indeed becoming self-restrained, god-fearing, and mindful of your accountability before Allah the Almighty.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing in the court of Allah the Exalted and think: are you ready to account for your unjust anger at others?

Try this for the rest of the holy month, and insha’Allah you will notice a difference.

Name
sister in Islam –

Question 

How can fasting and Ramadan functions solve disputes between two couples who really love each other but in so many times they fight and get separated?

Answer 

First, please read the answer to the question of sister Aseel.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) teaches us that the holy month of Ramadan is the month showing kindness, being consolatory, and sharing the pains and joys of others. Therefore, when one understands and practices these teachings of the holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in this holy month, it becomes easy to resolve the differences in the relationships.

Secondly, due to the special blessings of this month, our hearts are softened and generally people find it difficult to be mean to others while fasting.

As I mentioned in the answer sent by brother Shauqi, if the problems are long lasting and complex you may require al help to assist you resolve these marital differences.

Name
Mo’min –

Question 

How can a Muslim enjoy the happiness in Ramadan while the whole situation of Muslims in the world is very bad and does not make one feel happy. I can hardly have iftar when I watch the news in Palestine and Chechnya. How can one strike a balance between feeling sad and happy while fasting?

Answer 

Dear brother,

I can truly feel the sadness and hurt in your question about the current situation of Muslim Ummah around the world. The way we reconcile between feeling sad about that and feeling happy for the blessings of Allah in the holy month of fasting is by acknowledging our individual weaknesses and the Might and Power of the Almighty. It is true that you and I and others individually cannot make a major difference on the situation of Muslim Ummah, but Allah the Almighty indeed has the power to change it in wink of an eye.

The holy month, and especially during the time of iftar and suhur, promises us acceptance of our du`a’s (supplications). In one narration it is mentioned that during the twenty four hours of each day, one du`a’ is accepted by Allah the Almighty from each of His servants. Now, if we use our precious time during this month in making du`a’ for the Muslim Ummah, at least we have in some way done our part in bringing a change in the condition of the Ummah.

Secondly, understand that the Muslim Ummah is made up of individual people. If individuals make up their minds, especially in this holy month, to change their own condition and become God-fearing and accountable for their deeds and pray to Allah the Almighty for help and guidance in changing them, the whole Ummah and its conditions will change, insha’Allah.

Remember what Allah the Almighty says in the Holy Book, “Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own lives.” (Ar-Ra`d: 11)

This holy month provides an excellent opportunity for all of us to begin this process of change. I pray to Allah to help us do this.

Name
please help –

Question

I am a teenager who is suffering from sex pressure especially when I go to school. Sometimes I feel my fasting does not count. What do you advise me to do?

Answer 

As I have mentioned a number of times already, fasting is prescribed so that we can become restrained and God-fearing. Both these words imply that we are going to try our best to live our lives according to the commands of Allah the Almighty. One of these commands is to keep your gaze down and not look at strange women. The solution to your problem, therefore, is to lower your gaze while you’re at school and at the same time keep reciting istighfar and praying to Almighty Allah to help you and protect you from the evils of the society.

We are taught by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that if one fasts and at the same time lies to people, Allah the Almighty does not require our hunger and thirst to please Him. The same principle applies to all transgressions.

Technically, according to my knowledge of the opinion of fuqaha’ (scholars), your fast is still valid when you gaze at young girls and as a result suffer from sexual thoughts. However, you do not get the benefits and the spiritual rewards for your fasting.

Hope this helps!

Name
Norwan –

Question

My kids don’t like the masjid and they love to go for other places. I find it very difficult to take them to the masjid in Ramadan to pray taraweeh and have iftar. I sometimes prefer to stay home with them so that they don’t go to other places. Can you please suggest certain steps I can use with them to make them feel excited to going to the mosque. The age of my children are between 10 and 13.

Answer 

The problem you have mentioned is unfortunately very common among Muslim families with teenagers. Here is how you can attempt to handle it:

1. Insha’Allah, starting next year in the month of Sha`baan, make it a ritual in your family to prepare for the coming of the holy month of Ramadan. There are many hadiths in which we find the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them all) taking special steps to prepare for the holy month. Some ways you can do this is by reading those hadiths in the family gatherings to emphasize the importance of this month and the prescribed and recommended things that one should do in this holy month. Among them of course are: making special efforts to pray five times and taraweeh prayer in congregation.

2. Be an example, as parents, of these recommended deeds for your children. If you as parents go to the masjid only when convenient to you, then you teach your children that going to the masjid for congregational prayers is a secondary thing.

3. Given the age of your children, you are still in a position to lay out some fundamental rules and expectations in this regard. When children have clear expectations from their parents, they are more willing and try to abide by them. For example, if you said to them, ‘going anywhere else but to the masjid at the time of prayers (at least some prayers) is not accepted in this house.’ And if both you and your wife both follow through on it, you would notice a change in their behaviour insha’Allah.

4. During all the important times of this month, pray to Allah the Almighty to make your children steadfast in prayers.

Hope this helps!

Name
Madiha – United Kingdom

Question

Dear Dr. Sadiq, I am married and have 5 kids. All over the past years I have been going through a lot of depression due to the daily pressures and poor family circumstances. I have tried lots to forget my problems, but I am always met with failure. I want to start a new life this Ramadan, but I need some suggestions from you.

Answer  
Sister Madiha,

Assalamu`alykum. I am sorry to hear that you have been suffering from depression for the past years. Generally, there are always reasons that make a person depressed and those reasons must be looked at and resolved. However, since we are talking about the holy month of Ramadan as an opportunity to begin to solve our emotional and psychological problems, here is what I would suggest:

The holy month is an opportunity to strengthen our iman and our soul. Lots of emotional problems result from a weak will, a strong nafs and a weak soul. Fasting and the baraka of the holy month are excellent opportunities to weaken the nafs, thereby strengthening the soul and the will. Alhamdullilah, it sounds like you have made a decision to start a new life this Ramadan. Through fasting and receiving the barakas of the months, look at the possible reasons that may be causing your depression. You should be able to do this more calmly during the fasting month with a lot of patience. It is important that the factors causing depression are problem dealt with; and you should be able to do this with a stronger will and weaker nafs. I hope this helps. May Allah SWT bless you with the nur and the barakas of the months and help you resolve your family problems.

If I could be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to write back, or e-mail me at drsadiq@shaw.ca

Name
Unknown –

Question
I have a Question, but I really feel sorrow writing it online, but I didn’t want to miss your suggestions as a certified counselor who can help me through the way. I committed zina a month ago, and I am absolutely depressed and don’t know what to do in Ramadan. I don’t feel like fasting. I feel like killing myself. Please help …help….help.

Answer 
Dear brother in Islam,

I am happy to hear about your remorse and depression over the transgression you committed. Feeling remorse after disobeying Allah SWT is a strong sign of iman. I want you to remember that to err is human, and even the companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) had made such errors. I also want you to remember that Allah’s SWT mercy has no bounds. With your remorse and sincere repentance, Allah SWT has promised to forgive all sins – minor or major. I therefore suggest that you pray two rak’ahs with the intention of making tawbah, remorsefully and sincerely beg Allah SWT for His forgiveness, and be thankful that Allah SWT has granted you this holy month to continue to strengthen your iman and your soul and to be strong enough in the future not to disobey Him. Do not allow Shaitan to make you depressed and worried so much that you lose the blessings and the forgiveness of Allah that are rampant in this month.

May Allah SWT give you strength and courage to be His obedience servant in your future life.

Name
fawad imam – Pakistan
student
Question
In Ramadan in iftar or suhur times when we switch on to televsion to see the Adhan or ending time of sehri or iftar . I am talking of places where mosques are far the Adhan is hard to hear. While watching the Adhan on television they show advertisments with music and women .Does this thing affect our roza (fast)?

Answer 
Dear brother Fawad,

Here is a simple solution to your problem. The best thing to do is not to turn on the TV, obtain a calendar for suhur and future time for the month, and make adhan in your home yourself. This would save you from looking at the advertisements on the TV as well as, with the sound of adhan, will drive shaitan away from your home.

Name
Mo’min – United States

Question
How can family resolve problems in Ramadan? I don’t think if there is a real problem it could be solved in any time. Can you clarify how people can resolve their problems?

Answer 
Brother Mo’min, indeed problems can be resolved anytime during the year. The benefits of this holy month are:

1. Due to fasting, nafs and the ego are weaker.

2. There is less interference from Shaitan.

3. Iman is generally stronger.

4. Hearts become softer.

As result, people are more willing to be kind and considerate to each other, more willing to forgive each other, and more willing to make peace. On top, with the sincere attempt made to resolve the problems, Allah SWT’s help and mercy are more readily available during this month. I hope this explains to you how this blessed month is an opportune time to resolve these types of problems.

Name
Daniel – United States

Question
Dr. Sadiq, as-Salamu’alaykum! I have suffered from depression for most of my life (since I was three years old) and it has gotten to the point that it is just how I expect to be, even though I’ve begun hurting myself. My depression has negatively affected not only my life, but has hurt those around me. I am on medicine to treat my condition, but it does not seem to help. What advice or help can you give me? Thanks.
Answer 
Daniel, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

It sounds like depression has been a life long problem for you. I am sure that you have been receiving help for it all along. Has a proper assessment been made for your depression? I need to know a whole bunch of things from you about your life so far and your current circumstances before I can give you sound advice.

However, this blessed month may be a good time to turn things around. You know that things that appear to be beyond our control, are not beyond the control of Allah SWT. He can change in a blink what we have not been able to change in years. So, make good use of this blessed month. Spend you time in prayer, recitation of the holy Qur’an and supplications, and have faith in Allah’s powers to change things for you.

If you like to give me further details of your illness, write to me at drsadiq@shaw.ca

I pray for your well being. May Allah grant you strength, courage and patience.

Name
rasheed – Saudi Arabia

Question
last year i paid zakah for $2000. this year i ‘ve $4000 ie last year $2000 plus this year $2000. for how much amount i should pay zakah.
Answer 
Editor:

We are sorry brother Rasheed for not Answer ing your Question. This is not the place we deal with fiqhi Questions. Please resubmit your Question to Ask the Scholar page:

http://islamonline.net/fatwaapplication/english/fatwaQuestion.asp

Name
Hadiqa –

Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum, I am 36 years old and have been trying to get married for a long time. So far no luck. This has resulted in feelings of depression, low self esteem and lots of other psychological issues. I have met someone really nice online – he’s quite decent and we’re trying to get to know each other better. My problem is that I feel scared that it won’t work, he’ll choose someone else who lives closer to him, he’ll leave me. I know all of these problems aren’t logical but I can’t help feeling this way. I would like to know if there are any du`as I can recite this Ramadan or do anything to strengthen my faith and sort these psychosomatic issues out.

Thank you for your help and anyone reading this, pray for me!!!

Answer 
Sister Hadiqa, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

There are things that we control and then there are those things that are totally beyond our control. Is finding someone to get married totally in your control? Obviously not. It is for all such things that are beyond our control that we turn to Allah SWT for help. Shaitan leads us to give up hope so that we would not turn to Allah SWT. Don’t allow yourself to be led by the devil. Have faith in Allah SWT, and know that there is always a time for everything. Nothing happens before it is destined. Have patience, and turn to Allah SWT in this blessed month for help, forgiveness and patience. Focus your attention more and make an effort in the areas which you have control over, and leave the rest upon Allah SWT. The less you are worried and pre-occupied with your marriage, the better you would feel about yourself. I pray for your well being.

Name
Mido – United Kingdom

Question
As-Salamu`alaykum, I have a problem which might sound silly to some people. I have always dreamed of joining the mujahideen and hopefully dying as a martyr, but I cannot obtain my parents permission so I cannot do so. The point is that my parents want me to get married, and I think I should as well, but I am reluctant to do so as I feel that after marriage, due to the responsibilities with looking after and loving a wife, my zeal for Jihad and helping my opressed brothers & sisters might diminish. I would be most grateful if you could give me some advice on this matter.
Answer 
Brother Mido, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

I admire your desire to join the mujahideen to help the oppressed brothers and sisters around the world, and die as a martyr. I also admire your sense of respect and loyalty to your parents’ desires and wishes for you.

I am sure you know that there are several types of Jihad. One is what you wish to engage in. Another is to serve your parents while they need you. Another is to battle against the undue desires and impulses of your nafs.

Once a young man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and asked for his permission to join the mujahideen. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked him, “are your parents alive?” He said yes. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) admonished him to go and serve his parents.

On another occasion, while returning home from a battlefield, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has been reported as saying, “we are returning to a greater jihad from a smaller one,” meaning that the battle with one’s own nafs is a constant and on going battle.

Once A’isha (may Allah be pleased with her) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), “Can someone acquire the status of a martyr without being killed in a battlefield?” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) responded, “Yes, one who remembers his death twenty (or twenty five) times a day may acquire the status of a martyr.”

So, my dear brother, don’t despair. If Allah wills for you to join the mujahideen one day, He would make ways for you to do it. Meanwhile, you have lots of other jihads at hand; so get busy with your battles.

Name
Haruuna – Nigeria

Question Assalamu Alaykum Warahamatulah,

Please if i have a brother who died and he has not got marrige. He has his father and mother a live who will inheried his proparties, and how it will be distributed.
Ma’asalam
Answer 
Editor:

We are sorry brother Rasheed for not Answer ing your Question. This is not the place we deal with fiqhi Questions. Please resubmit your Question to Ask the Scholar page:

http://islamonline.net/fatwaapplication/english/fatwaQuestion.asp

Name
umashraf – Jordan

Question
As-Salamu`alykum, Iam married for 28 years, alhamdulillah after a lot of ups and downs,we found our way to Islam. Now it was a big change for the children(4) getting involved a lot with Islam I understand many things a lot different than before. My problem are my children they are not as convinced as I am and think that I am afraid of their father and blame their father for everything. Whenever I try to make them understand they say that I am defending him. I find myself in a position to having to explain myself to them all the time, as if they would educate me and not me them.What should I do?

Answer 
Sister Umasharf, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

The best way to educate and train the children in any faith is to become a living model of it in your daily life. Learn and practice Islam in your daily life as best as you can. This holy month provides ample opportunity to be a good role model for your children. Another important thing is for you and your husband to have a common understanding of the principles of Islam, and for both of you to practice it together. Again, the month of Ramadan is a good opportunity to do so. Lastly, do not get into arguments with your children about the faith. Encourage Questions, and provide simple to understand Answer s. If they do not accept, let it go. Keep practicing the faith yourselves, and you would notice that your sincerity with Allah SWT will insha’Allah spread into the hearts of your children sooner or later.

May Allah give you strength and courage!

Name
sally – Egypt
dentist
Question
As-Salamu`alaykum Dr. Muhammad,I wanted to ask you how can I get rid of waswasa. I pray and read Adhkar every day but it sticks to me whenever I pray to ask Allah for something I need! It starts to whisper to me that I don’t deserve from Allah to help me or fulfill my hopes and it makes me always feel guilty ,and sometimes it makes me feel as if I prayed a bad du`a’ for example (for some people whom I love very much to die)! I can’t concentrate each time I pray or ask Allah His forgiveness or any thing else. Thank you so much,jazakum Allah khairab.
Answer 
Sister Sally, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

I will tell you the best way to get rid of the waswasa – IGNORE THEM.

None of us are free of waswasa. One of the characteristics of waswasa from Shaitan is that the more you pay attention to it, the more bothersome and strong it becomes. The more you ignore it, the less it bothers you.

You do believe that Allah SWT will not hold you accountable for your waswasa. You also do believe that He is most merciful and kind. So then, whenever you are praying, reciting the holy Qur’an or making supplications, ignore the waswasa. When they come, just bring your attention back to your ibadah. Keep doing it and have faith that Allah SWT is rewarding you for your Jihad with Shaitan.

Name
Luqman – Canada

Question
Please, I need your help. I have a problem with my parents because I married a committed Muslim girl who is not my relative, while my parents wanted me to marry my relative. Every Ramadan, I invite them over on Iftar but they always refuse. My wife buys them gifts on Eid and they return them back. I really don’t enjoy Ramadan when I have this kind of treatment from my parents. Can you give me some tips on how to solve this problem?

Answer 
Dear Luqman,

Don’t make your parents’ problems yours. Continue to be respectful and kind with them despite the fact that they are not accepting it. In this blessed month, send them a note asking for their forgiveness for the sake of Allah and this blessed month. Forgive them yourself, and pray to Allah to clear their hearts from anger and disappointments towards you.

I pray for you and your parents.

Name
fatima –

Question
As-Salamu `alykum,

My Question is that someone I know suffers from a phobia of thunder and lightning and gets really scared even when it gets slightly cloudy. I was wondering if there are any du`a or procedures she can do to cure herself. There aren’t any counselors or reputable psychologists where we live. Thank you for your help and may you have a prosperous Ramadan.

Answer 
Sister Fatima, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

Phobias are treatable. Yes, there are procedures to cure them. But, they are long and take time. The best thing to do is to write to me at drsadiq@shaw.ca later and I would Insha Allah help you tackle these fears.

Name
birgit – Germany
housewife
Question
How can I get more confidence in discussion of religious Questions with my husband. I like to be on a middle-course he is more uncompromising.

Answer 
Sister Birgit,

Proper Islamic education for both of you is the way to solve your problem. I suggest not to discuss religion with him. Instead, study the principles of Islam jointly at home and through your local Imams and masajid. Insha’Allah, it would help.

Name
Iman –

Question
Yesterday I had something that had alcohol in it by mistake – I found out half way through the meal and I had something in my mouth so I finished eating it rather than throw it out. Now I feel so guilty and scared that my fasting won’t be accepted. Help!
Answer  Sister Iman,

May Allah reward you for your sensitivity about committing a sin even unintentionally. Dear sister, Allah SWT does not hold you accountable for unintentional transgressions. Have faith in Allah’s mercey. He is most forgiving and kind.

Name
Abu Anas – Malaysia

Question
As-Salamu’alaykum, how to finish reading the whole Al-Quran in this Ramadan?

Answer 
Abu Anas, wa `alaykum as-Salamu warahmatullah.

One of the ways is to attend the taraweeh prayers every night where the holy Qur’an is recited from beginning to the end during the month. That way, at least you can hear it all from the beginning to the end.

Secondly, if you recite one Juz’ everyday of the holy month, you will Insha’Allah finish it by the end of the month. This is what I do. Start on the first evening of the holy month, Insha’Allah.

Name
Muslimah – United States

Question
Wow, just yesterday I mentioned that I was going to use Ramadan to help me with my anxiety and depression! I have been suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, and have developed some phobias since stopping my medication (that I was prescribed for “major depression”) several years ago. The medication did not help, and I saw tons of physicians and experts and they emphasized medication more than psycho-therapy, and my anxiety was never addressed in any therapy. Now, I still have it, and its getting worse. I know that the Quran is a healing for whatever ails the heart, and I understand Qadr, and all of the Islamic philisophical ideas– I just have a problem connecting my “logical” brain to my “illogical” brain. I have found that cutting out caffiene and exercising daily helps. I’m also trying to incrase my vitaminE intake, and improve my diet all around. However, I still have problems dealing with irrational fears. How can I use Ramadan to help with that?
Answer 
Dear sister,

Ramadan is a month that is especially helpful in strengthening our Iman. All fears and irrational thoughts are put in your mind by shaitan, and shayateen are locked up during this blessed month. Thus, an opportune time for you to overcome these irrational fears by strengthening your Iman and faith in Allah SWT the key being the knowledge that nothing may harm or benefit you without the will of Allah SWT. Just that bit of Iman, if you acquired it, would be sufficient in helping you get rid of your fears.

About phobias. They are treatable. If you still have them, write to me at drsadiq@shaw.ca later and I would Insha Allah assit you in tackling them.

Name
Bill –

Question
What does your religion endorse murder? If it does not endorse it, then why isn’t a stronger stance taken against those members of your religion that teach CHILDREN to hate and murder?

Answer 
Bill, May you have peace.

Obviously, you do not have proper knowledge of Islam. Islam does not teach hate, murder, and oppression. People learn it from each other and do these things out of desperation.

Does your religion (whatever it is that you believe in) teach hate, murder, and oppression? If not, why are people of your religion engaged into such activity around the world?

Hope you understand what I am trying to say.

Peace and Love

Dr. Sadiq

Name
Muslim woman – United States

Question
As-Salamu `Alaykum, don’t you think that the day in which we live is reason enough for depression? Shouldn’t we be depressed as an acurate indicator to our environment? What do you think? As-Salamu`alaykum.

Answer  Sister,

People may always find reasons to be depressed. I think it is a matter of human perception and belief.

If I believe that things are beyond help, out of control, and therefore life is not worth living, I would get depressed. On the other hand, if I believe that there is a God who has everything under His control, that there is always hope, that I am required only to do my best to keep my life in order and leave the rest to Allah SWT, I will not be that depressed.

Hope this helps.

Name
Editor –

Answer 

Finally, we would like to thank our guest for speaking to IslamOnline viewers today, and we also thank all those who participated in this dialogue. We apologize for not being able to accommodate all the Questions within the time allocated to this session. We request our readers to join us in the upcoming sessions.

Yours,
Islamonline Live Dialogue Editing Desk

Name
ihsan –

Question 

Can you please define what you mean by psychological benefits? And how does fasting achieve these benefits?

Answer 

Everything we experience in life has an effect on our thinking, emotions, and ultimately our behaviour. Similarly, the act of fasting has significant effects on our thinking, emotions, and behaviour. This is what is meant by the psychological effects of fasting.

Going hungry, thirsty, and indulging into other rituals of fasting such as taraweeh, waking up for suhur, and iftar (breaking the fast) – all these acts affect how we think, behave, and feel. For example, just the routine of it all brings a certain discipline in our life that lots of us may not have had before.

Name
farah –

Question 

How can we solve family problems around the table of iftar?

Answer 

Often unlike regular days families try to break their fast and eat their meal together in the holy month of Ramadan. This in itself provides an opportunity for the family to be together at a happy occasion of breaking their fast for a whole month.

Also, because everybody is hungry and thirsty there is less preoccupations with other problems at that time, and as well negative emotions such as anger, hurt, etc. are under control. All of this provides an opportunity for the family members to build and strengthen their relationships.

Name
shauqi –

Question 

If you really believe fasting can solve psychological problems, how can someone who feels disappointed and has a lot of complications take fasting as a solution?

Answer 

The holy month of Ramadan and fasting in this month has a potential to be helpful in resolving many psychological problems. But, if the problems are long lasting and complicated, a person may need additional help. Seeking such help in this holy month often proves more beneficial than in other months, that is, if the client and the therapist both practice the adaab (ethics) of fasting.

If you had mentioned a specific problem, I may have given specific way of dealing with that problem during this month.

Name
Aseel –

Question 

Dr. Sadiq I am a very nervous person with high blood pressure, and I can easily get mad even when I am fasting. I sometimes find myself fighting over little things and then regret after I discover their being so trivial. What is your advice to me in Ramadan?

Answer 

Dear sister,

If part of your anger problem emerges from high blood pressure, then it should be treated medically so that at least the high blood pressure is ruled out from the picture.

Now then, you said that you get angry on trivial things even in the month of Ramadan. Do you notice any decrease in losing your temper while you’re fasting? (I assume you’re fasting everyday.)

Generally, a person with a full stomach is more prone to anger outbursts, so while one is fasting, there generally isn’t the same amount of physical energy to get angry or to be angry with high intensity.

The purpose of fasting that Allah Almighty has mentioned in the Holy Qur’an is “so that you would become restrained.” Other translations for the word “restrained” are: god-fearing, mindful of your deeds, recognizing your accountability before Allah Almighty for all your deeds.

Keep the above in mind and often recite verse no. 183 in Surat Al-Baqarah, pondering on its meaning; and self-reflect while you’re fasting if you’re indeed becoming self-restrained, god-fearing, and mindful of your accountability before Allah the Almighty.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing in the court of Allah the Exalted and think: are you ready to account for your unjust anger at others?

Try this for the rest of the holy month, and insha’Allah you will notice a difference.

Name
sister in Islam –

Question 

How can fasting and Ramadan functions solve disputes between two couples who really love each other but in so many times they fight and get separated?

Answer 

First, please read the answer to the question of sister Aseel.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) teaches us that the holy month of Ramadan is the month showing kindness, being consolatory, and sharing the pains and joys of others. Therefore, when one understands and practices these teachings of the holy Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in this holy month, it becomes easy to resolve the differences in the relationships.

Secondly, due to the special blessings of this month, our hearts are softened and generally people find it difficult to be mean to others while fasting.

As I mentioned in the answer sent by brother Shauqi, if the problems are long lasting and complex you may require al help to assist you resolve these marital differences.

Name
Mo’min –

Question 

How can a Muslim enjoy the happiness in Ramadan while the whole situation of Muslims in the world is very bad and does not make one feel happy. I can hardly have iftar when I watch the news in Palestine and Chechnya. How can one strike a balance between feeling sad and happy while fasting?

Answer 

Dear brother,

I can truly feel the sadness and hurt in your question about the current situation of Muslim Ummah around the world. The way we reconcile between feeling sad about that and feeling happy for the blessings of Allah in the holy month of fasting is by acknowledging our individual weaknesses and the Might and Power of the Almighty. It is true that you and I and others individually cannot make a major difference on the situation of Muslim Ummah, but Allah the Almighty indeed has the power to change it in wink of an eye.

The holy month, and especially during the time of iftar and suhur, promises us acceptance of our du`a’s (supplications). In one narration it is mentioned that during the twenty four hours of each day, one du`a’ is accepted by Allah the Almighty from each of His servants. Now, if we use our precious time during this month in making du`a’ for the Muslim Ummah, at least we have in some way done our part in bringing a change in the condition of the Ummah.

Secondly, understand that the Muslim Ummah is made up of individual people. If individuals make up their minds, especially in this holy month, to change their own condition and become God-fearing and accountable for their deeds and pray to Allah the Almighty for help and guidance in changing them, the whole Ummah and its conditions will change, insha’Allah.

Remember what Allah the Almighty says in the Holy Book, “Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change their own lives.” (Ar-Ra`d: 11)

This holy month provides an excellent opportunity for all of us to begin this process of change. I pray to Allah to help us do this.

Name
please help –

Question

I am a teenager who is suffering from sex pressure especially when I go to school. Sometimes I feel my fasting does not count. What do you advise me to do?

Answer 

As I have mentioned a number of times already, fasting is prescribed so that we can become restrained and God-fearing. Both these words imply that we are going to try our best to live our lives according to the commands of Allah the Almighty. One of these commands is to keep your gaze down and not look at strange women. The solution to your problem, therefore, is to lower your gaze while you’re at school and at the same time keep reciting istighfar and praying to Almighty Allah to help you and protect you from the evils of the society.

We are taught by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that if one fasts and at the same time lies to people, Allah the Almighty does not require our hunger and thirst to please Him. The same principle applies to all transgressions.

Technically, according to my knowledge of the opinion of fuqaha’ (scholars), your fast is still valid when you gaze at young girls and as a result suffer from sexual thoughts. However, you do not get the benefits and the spiritual rewards for your fasting.

Hope this helps!

Name
Norwan –

Question

My kids don’t like the masjid and they love to go for other places. I find it very difficult to take them to the masjid in Ramadan to pray taraweeh and have iftar. I sometimes prefer to stay home with them so that they don’t go to other places. Can you please suggest certain steps I can use with them to make them feel excited to going to the mosque. The age of my children are between 10 and 13.

Answer 

The problem you have mentioned is unfortunately very common among Muslim families with teenagers. Here is how you can attempt to handle it:

1. Insha’Allah, starting next year in the month of Sha`baan, make it a ritual in your family to prepare for the coming of the holy month of Ramadan. There are many hadiths in which we find the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and the Companions (may Allah be pleased with them all) taking special steps to prepare for the holy month. Some ways you can do this is by reading those hadiths in the family gatherings to emphasize the importance of this month and the prescribed and recommended things that one should do in this holy month. Among them of course are: making special efforts to pray five times and taraweeh prayer in congregation.

2. Be an example, as parents, of these recommended deeds for your children. If you as parents go to the masjid only when convenient to you, then you teach your children that going to the masjid for congregational prayers is a secondary thing.

3. Given the age of your children, you are still in a position to lay out some fundamental rules and expectations in this regard. When children have clear expectations from their parents, they are more willing and try to abide by them. For example, if you said to them, ‘going anywhere else but to the masjid at the time of prayers (at least some prayers) is not accepted in this house.’ And if both you and your wife both follow through on it, you would notice a change in their behaviour insha’Allah.

4. During all the important times of this month, pray to Allah the Almighty to make your children steadfast in prayers.

Hope this helps!